Category: Cooking

  • STICKY RICE (油飯)

    STICKY RICE (油飯)

    I can never see the words “sticky rice” without thinking about the time somebody told me that it’s a euphemism for gay Asians who only date other gay Asians. I assume it was a natural extension of the term “rice queen” — another euphemism but for gay whites who only date gay Asians. I think… Read more

  • SESAME NOODLES (麻醬麵)

    SESAME NOODLES (麻醬麵)
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    Summer is upon us and it’s time to cut out the carbs in our diet and replace them with cold versions of the same carbs. One of my earliest childhood memories is of my mother making this dish on particularly hot days. She could never be bothered to consult a recipe or take any care… Read more

  • MAPO TOFU (麻婆豆腐)

    MAPO TOFU (麻婆豆腐)
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    If there is one thing Chinese people can do, outside of inventing amazing recipes, it’s insulting you right to your face. A routine family Facetime call can devolve into “you got fat!” and “are you still single?” in the first 30 seconds. What happened to, “Hello?” “How are you?”We’re always told that this is just… Read more

  • TAIWANESE BEEF NOODLE SOUP (牛肉麵)

    TAIWANESE BEEF NOODLE SOUP (牛肉麵)

    I’m always a little surprised when I hear the words “beef noodle soup” come out of a white person’s mouth. For me, the words conjure deep and complex feelings of nostalgia. They remind me of childhood lunches on Sundays, much needed nourishment after suffering through a violin lesson in the morning and before being dragged… Read more

  • HAINANESE CHICKEN RICE (海南雞飯)

    HAINANESE CHICKEN RICE (海南雞飯)

    My dad has always said that the Chinese are the most pitiable restaurant workers in the entire industry. Some of this has to do with him growing up in my grandparents’ restaurant and resenting every minute of it. But his official rationale was something to do with all of the manual labor required to prepare… Read more

  • THOUSAND LAYER PANCAKE (抓餅)

    THOUSAND LAYER PANCAKE (抓餅)
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    The first time I ever ate a thousand layer pancake was at the famed A&J Restaurant on Rockville Pike in Maryland. To order there, you make small tallies on a paper menu (a culinary scantron, if you will). My mom wrote a “2” next to “抓餅” — we’d never seen them before but the low… Read more

  • PORK AND CABBAGE DUMPLINGS (白菜水饺)

    PORK AND CABBAGE DUMPLINGS (白菜水饺)
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    Every Asian person with a blog has a post dedicated to how their parents never said, “I love you.” Is it a vicious racial stereotype if it has an almost 100% actual observance rate…? It remains a mystery why Asians specifically are so inept at expressing familial love. Maybe it has something to do with… Read more

  • FIVE SPICE BEAN CURD WITH SHREDDED BEEF (豆干肉絲)

    FIVE SPICE BEAN CURD WITH SHREDDED BEEF (豆干肉絲)
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    As a person of fat kid experience, I have a lot of humiliating behaviors and anecdotes that I would happily take to the grave. One that my mother likes to dredge up every now and then is how I used to ask why every ingredient in Chinese dishes had to be cut up into such… Read more